bodies bodies bodies is terrible terrible terrible


 So I'd heard that this was a good and scary movie. I heard it was funny and at times terrifying.

I heard wrong.

This is a terrible movie. It's the kind of movie that makes you seriously consider never seeing another movie. It's the kind of movie that makes you hate Hollywood and modern culture and people in general. 

It starts off with a very long, very close up scene of two girls making out. They're fully clothed, but they are feeling each other up. This goes on for WAY too long. Then they go to a house full of people who are all rich and entitled and hate one another. They decide to play a game called bodies bodies bodies, where they all draw slips of paper and one of them has a mark on it that tells that one person they're the "killer". They turn the lights off and the IDEA is that the "killer" touches people on the back and the person touched pretends they're dead. 

Things start to unravel when, you guessed it, people start ACTUALLY dying. And then everyone starts accusing everyone in woke, offended, modern-culture-friendly terms (one girl screams "FEELINGS ARE FACTS!!") and everyone turns on everyone else and literally start screaming over one another. 

Without a doubt, I would have walked out if I didn't want to get the full picture so I could give you guys the scoop.

And, I must admit, the ending was clever. I will post the cleverness of the ending below in the paragraph labeled SPOILER!! if you want to know what it was.

But I DO NOT RECOMMEND seeing this movie. It's total trash. I wish I could have those two hours of my life back. And I'm still 1000% mystified why Pete Davidson is a thing. I just don't get that guy. (He's in this.) 

I don't think there was any nudity. The language is TERRIBLE, and they love saying Jesus Christ as an expletive. And of course, there's copious amounts of blood and gore.

SPOILERS!! Don't keep reading this paragraph if you ever plan to see this. OK, here's the clever bit. The very first person in the movie to die is Pete Davidson's character (thank goodness, as he's particularly unwatchable in this). This sets everyone else off and they start killing one another out of panic thinking that the other person is the killer. But then they find Pete Davidson's phone at the end and find a video that shows that Pete accidentally killed himself, so NO one was the original killer, and they all killed each other for no reason.

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